The other day as I was enjoying some morning sun and listening to a podcast, the subject of relationships came up. There is quite a lot of documented evidence to support that a good part of marital issues are unsolvable and could even be lumped into the “perpetual problems” category. But just because there are problems, does NOT necessarily doom a marriage. In a healthy marriage, being able to accept the differences as well as laugh at our own quirks, and talk about them rather than sweeping them under the rug as “can’t go there” subjects, makes for a more realistic relationship.
The Psychologist Dan Wile says, "When choosing a long-term partner, you will inevitably be choosing a particular set of unresolvable problems.” So learning to accept, laugh, and talk about these things within the context of the bigger picture, when you’re frustrated by something your partner has done (or not done) for the millionth time, has the possibility of deepening the connection & your understanding of one another.
**I’m looking forward to :
Dancing & listening to music by Robert Thomas Blues band this Saturday night at Cold Springs Tavern where they will be playing – it’ll be good fun so if you’re free, come join me and check it out, 6-9 PM!
Listen here : https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Vpz_Gr_N-Ik
Cold Springs info here : http://www.coldspringtavern.com/entertainment.html
**I am thinking about :
Creativity. The root meaning of the word ‘create’ essentially means “to grow” and a lot of what artists do is to create stories through words, painting, song, and other mediums. They help us make sense of things, and expand our understanding. The Arts enable us to imagine the unimaginable, and to connect us to the past, the present, and the future, sometimes simultaneously. The Arts also offers us huge relief from the things around us in our society that batter and break us down.
The conversations I’ve had lately about the Arts, reflect people’s desire to overcome fears often set in place when they were children, allowing them to explore their creative side. So, if this reflects your own experience & desire, contact me!
I have Art & Painting Classes (for beginners and for those more advanced) as well as an Intro to Chalk Pastels Class. There are private classes as well as group classes. You can see a sampling of my work here : http://www.welmoet-fineart.com/
**In my pile of continued reading material, there’s :
Several articles about Stoicism, a subject that has randomly popped up more than a few times in the past couple weeks. Anyway, I’m finding it a pretty interesting philosophy. You might ask, what is Stoicism? It began way back around 90 AD in Greece & Rome and provided a way of thinking & living one’s Life that has endured through centuries, and even now, is not unlike Buddhism in many regards.
In very simplistic form, to the Stoic, “life isn’t a juggling act between a thousand competing concerns. You have one concern, and that’s to tend your own garden, small or large as it is. It works the same for a slave (which is what Epictetus was) as it does for an Emperor (which is what Marcus Aurelius was when he died in 180 AD).”
No matter what philosophy you’re drawn to or what it is you want to learn, finding a person who lived (or is currently a living example worth learning from as a mentor) is a great way to keep a clear perspective on yourself while keeping measure of where you still have to go. Your life gains a great deal in having a mentor, or several mentors, and you don’t have to wait for them to single you out. Be proactive in your own life and where you want to go, what you want to learn.
“Choose someone whose way of life, as well as words, and whose very face as mirroring the character that lies behind it, have won your approval. Be always pointing him out to yourself either as your guardian or as your model. This is a need, in my view, for someone as a standard against which our characters can measure themselves. Without a ruler to do it against you won’t make the crooked straight.” — Seneca, Letters From a Stoic
For more information, take a look at these two cites : http://classics.mit.edu/Epictetus/epicench.html
**This last thought is worth sharing : Being human, sort of sets us up for (occasionally) reverting to seeing our world via our Reptilian brain. In those moments, we become more susceptible to unconsciously blaming others for the things we experience that stress us, make us fearful or upset. (Hello Democrats, Hello Republicans). The Reptilian brain is deeply seated and it can take real effort from us to question & change the course of our own thinking but it’s worth developing the ability to perceive things with more evolved discernment.
“It is not outside forces that make us feel something, it is what we tell ourselves that creates our feelings.” ~ Jon Herrera